It is about that time again! No, not spring…even though that would be greeeeaatt…. It is time for me to reach out to my beautiful wife’s beloved blog readers and give them all what they really want…HUSBAND HACK 2.0!!!
If you missed out on the first Husband Hack, you can read that here! I know what you are probably thinking…”How did Trent figure out how to put links into his post? Isn’t this only his second blog post ever?” Well, yes it is only my second post, but what can I say…I learned from the best
On to the real reason I am writing today: Health
I have been catching quite a bit of flack lately with regards to the type/amount of food I eat, as well as the amount of Dr. Pepper I drink.
Lately I feel like I don’t go a single day without hearing something like “I hope you know you are on a fast track to diabetes!” or “Honestly…How are you still alive?!” or “How many refills are you going to get?!?!” or “I hope you are looking forward to having both your feet amputated, after you get diabetes!” (That last one was Katie…what a sweetheart!) And the whole time… I am over here like, Sue Me! (see the video below)
So maybe I have a few Dr. Peppers a day, maybe I OCCASIONALY eat a couple pounds of candy in a sitting. Honestly though, who hasn’t had a night or two when a third snickers ice cream bar is the only thing you want!? I don’t think I am breaking any laws, when i sit down with a bag of candy and a two liter to enjoy a movie! In the words of Buddy the Elf “I am just trying to stick to the four basic food groups: candy, candy canes, candy corn and syrup.” I’m not being ridiculous here…these are basic human rights! I believe it was Thomas Jefferson who said that we have certain inherent & inalienable rights…”The preservation of life, liberty and the pursuit of candy.”
Everyone just needs to relax. Case in point…look at me, healthy as a horse. The last time I went to the doctor he literally said, “Well everything looks great! You must be a big runner?” No Doc, can’t remember the last time I ran… just a steady diet of Dr. Pepper and Candy.
When it comes down to it, they will probably have a cure for diabetes by the time I get it. So, there goes my only major obstacle!
With advances in modern science, and my high level of candy consumption…it’s not crazy to think i can live to be 245, maybe 300.
So there you go…now get off my back!
Trent “the candyman” Raines